Blogcabin California

In response to Scott’s article of November 13 (“Are You an Oxymoron?”), it really is a shame that our own GLBT community has begun to engage in prejudicial behavior that sometimes exceeds even that which had been doled out to us years ago… and that such prejudiced behavior is being directed from members of our own community to other members of our own community! From 1969 onward, when the gay community began to blossom in Los Angeles, and at least in my own circle of friends, it didn’t matter whether one was a Democrat or a Republican, what a person’s profession was, what a person’s religion was, what a person’s race or gender was or whether one was gay or straight… we all endeavored to get along.

Yes, it was the flower child era and everyone was into peace and love. Yes, there were still some people who harbored individual prejudices, but we all knew that if we wanted to be accepted as we were and for ourselves, we had to be accepting of others as they were and for themselves. This does not mean that we had to accept attitudes and behaviors that were negative towards ourselves or contrary to our own beliefs or ways of life… it meant that we learned to realize that people are as they are and if we wanted to change things we had to speak up and be living examples of what we wanted to achieve. In other words, we most often had to change our thinking first. Hence, in those days, we immersed ourselves in the all-encompassing mantra of “Peace!”

Yes, there were protests, there were marches, and yes, violence sometimes broke out… violence that never should have happened. However, and for the most part, people of that time were into peace and love as a hopeful outcome of their actions. Today, there seems to be a mean-spirited undercurrent throughout the entire socio-political environment. This mean-spirited angst began to crop up in the early 1980’s. By 1984, in fact, the general behavior and attitudes in the once friendly city of Los Angeles had become so nasty that the city officials, in preparation for the upcoming Olympic Games that were held in that year, had to post billboards all around the county that read: “Come on, Los Angeles! Smile! Company’s coming!”

Throughout the years, the GLBT community has certainly had its share of bearing the brunt of prejudicial behavior and attitudes, but the GLBT community has not always been devoid of committing such behavior, either. Does anyone remember how a good proportion of the men of our community once treated the lesbian women? Very often, it was with disdain and segregation. It took burgeoning new organizations like the Metropolitan Community Church and the Gay & Lesbian Community Services Center to begin to bridge that gap; but still, the men and women of our community remained separate to a great degree. But when the AIDS crisis hit in the early 1980’s, the lesbian women were the ones who came to the forefront to assist the needs of the gay men in crisis, clearly demonstrating the fact that intolerance and prejudice may be overcome by simple kindness, compassion and understanding. It is sad to say that it took a crisis to reach that level of mutual acceptance between the men and women in our community. At that time in our history, the gay community came together as a whole to include everyone like ourselves, as well as to respect if not embrace the diversity of those unlike ourselves. We had developed the tolerance and understanding that had not been given to us as individuals or as a community. The GLBT community finally stood for compassion and total inclusion… apparently until now.

It is important to note here that the entire GLBT community cannot be held wholly responsible for the intolerant behavior that is being demonstrated within by some of its members, since there are many factors that have come into play. First of all, a whole new generation has become active in the GLBT community… a generation that has never experienced the extreme bigotry, prejudice and hatred that we older members of the GLBT community had once endured, so they have less incidents in their personal lives by which to compare similar behavior. Secondly, the polarization that exists within our community is not exclusive to us; rather, it has occurred throughout the country, mainly due to the barrage of media reports whether they may be pro or con, accurate or inaccurate, sometimes positive, but mostly negative, and which continue to bombard us every day. At a time when rudeness in America has reached an all-time high, as reported by the national media, it is also becoming quite apparent that there may very well be a hidden agenda by those who insist on constantly stirring the collective emotional cauldron. This only serves to keep people on edge and so insecure within their own circumstances that they cannot fully see the entire picture. This has long been a calculated ploy by more dubious political organizations in other countries for as long as politics have been around and now this ploy is being practiced here. These statements are simply matters of fact, but they certainly do not excuse anyone from engaging in negative, mean-spirited verbal or physical behavior toward others.

Garrick Wilhelm’s statement holds true for many gay Republicans: “When I was coming out, I naïvely thought I would be accepted and feel free to be myself,” says Wilhelm. “But in the gay community, I have to be just as – or more – careful about making the decision to disclose that I am a Republican than I do in the straight community disclosing that I am a gay man. There is a tremendous hostility toward gay Republicans in the gay community.”

I have personally seen this hostility to Republicans happen… not to Mr. Wilhelm, but to other gay Republicans as well as toward myself. As an example: about five years ago, I was at a garden party hosted by two gay men in Beverly Hills and the people at my table were all Democrats except for one Republican gentleman… and that Republican gentleman was not me. I had not yet left the Democratic Party. Needless to say, this example will prove my opinion. Inevitably, the conversation got around to politics and the Democrats’ dissatisfaction with the first election of President George W. Bush. Only I and the Republican gentleman didn’t contribute to the conversation. The comments of the other men got nastier and nastier, equating all Republicans with religious zealots and white male supremacists. The men knew that I was a Democrat at the time, so they didn’t question my stance, but suddenly one of them asked the other silent gentleman what his political affiliation was. (This was a breach of etiquette in itself, I would assume). Rather sheepishly and I could see that he was embarrassed, the man practically whispered “Republican.” At that point, I spoke up: “Excuse me, but I couldn’t quite hear you.” The man looked at me, cleared his throat, and said a bit louder “Republican.”

I congratulated him for saying the oft-hated “R” word, much to the consternation of the other men at the table. I went on to tell him that he should be proud of his political affiliation and that he should not let anyone shame him into not speaking up about it. The man thanked me but nonetheless, he remained very uncomfortably at the table for about ten minutes tops. When he left, the other men commented about what a bigot the man was… not for anything he said, because he really said nothing during the conversation, but only because he was a Republican. Of course, they got onto my case for defending the man, but at that point, I really didn’t care what they thought. I was disgusted by their behavior.

By definition, according to Merriam-Webster, a “bigot” is “a person that is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own prejudices.” The word “prejudice” has multiple definitions: “(1) a preconceived judgment or opinion (2): an adverse opinion or leaning formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge b: an instance of such judgment or opinion c: an irrational attitude of hostility directed against an individual, a group, a race, or their supposed characteristics.” And while we’re at it, let’s look at the word “oxymoron,” which is broadly defined as “something (as a concept) that is made up of contradictory or incongruous elements.”

After reading the example of negative behavior that I gave you above, let me ask a few questions for everyone to seriously consider. Who actually had the most prejudicial attitudes, the Democrat men who harbored pre-conceived judgments and adverse opinions against all Republicans without just grounds or sufficient knowledge, or the Republican man who simply listened to their negative rhetoric and said nothing? Who was the bigot, and who was not? The Democrats who were devoted to their own prejudices in regard to Republicans, or the Republican who said nothing during the whole course of events? And let me ask you this… if the Democratic Party supposedly represents all people, inclusively and without bias, then who, in this instance and by their behavior, were the oxymoronic ones? If the GLBT community embraces diversity and if some members of the GLBT community engage in verbally prejudiced behavior or physical violence against other members of the community, simply because of their differences, then who is more worthy of the title “oxymoron?”

As Log Cabin membership is growing steadily on a national level, it is becoming apparent that there are more and more members of the GLBT community who have, like myself, become fed up with the bullying tactics that had been employed and directed at them by other members of the GLBT community because they chose to be individuals and think for themselves; rather than falling into a misguided emotional goosestep. One college student related how he had been verbally and physically harassed by members of another gay group on campus because he was a gay Republican. There are members of our community who have ended long-time friendships simply because the other person did not support a Democratic candidate, or perhaps because they found their friend to be (gasp!) Republican! There are many members of the GLBT community who will have nothing to do with Republicans, and many will vote against a political candidate or a measure simply because the candidate or the measure was from the Republican camp, without fully examining both sides of a measure or the validity of a candidate.

There are members of our community who irrationally rant on about Republicans at private parties and professional gatherings, and there are others who blame everything that happens to them in their own personal lives on Republicans they have never even met! Many Log Cabin members who manned the booths at gay pride festivals have reported extreme verbal abuse, not only by being called oxymoronic, but by being compared to Nazis. Well, just let me say this about that… the Nazi Party of Germany was officially known as the National Socialist Party in Germany. Are Socialist party members voting in the Republican Party? I think not. Are Socialist party members voting in the Democratic Party? Believe me when I tell you that this last question is a loaded subject for a different discussion altogether.

There are many Republicans in the entertainment industry, gay and straight, who feel closeted, professionally threatened or otherwise unwelcome to say the least because they feel that the Hollywood establishment will blackball them. I have observed instances of such action in various degrees, on studio lots and in media reports or websites. In an industry where ageism is rampant, many entertainers of today think nothing of publicly berating more classic and professional performers who happen to have conservative ideals or whose opinions are different than their own. One very prominent entertainer once made a public statement that she would never hire a person who is a Republican. So much for our equal employment laws! She’s certainly not a very funny girl these days! It seems as though the Hollywood establishment of today has itself become as hateful in belief and in practice as the House Un-American Activities Commission of the 1950’s that the industry so fervently reviles.

So again I ask… what with the behaviors demonstrated in these instances… who are the bigots… those who do the name calling or those who are called a name? Who actually had the most prejudicial attitudes… those who acted out their pre-conceived judgments, or those who were victimized by the negativity? And who were actually oxymoronic? Those who engaged in negative behavior while purporting to be a member of a community that deplores such behavior, perhaps? Think about it.

Prejudicial behavior is very difficult to overcome, and there aren’t many people in the world who have not had prejudices to varying degrees in the course of a lifetime, but the trick is to overcome those negative thoughts of others and learn from our mistaken opinions and then to move on with life. It doesn’t help any situation when some people use prejudice and bigotry to further their own causes. Jerry Falwell’s comment that a gay Republican should join the Democratic Party is in itself an insensitive and ignorant remark but then again, we must consider the source. Remember that this is the man who once stated that America deserved the events of 9/11 because of our nation’s so-called errant ways as perceived through his own judgment. I cannot remember his statement verbatim, but when he issued that judgment within a few days of the terrorist attack his credibility justifiably plummeted throughout the nation and in the free countries around the world. In my opinion, he is equally as dubious as the 9/11 terrorists for even insinuating that America deserved such a tragedy. Who is he to judge anybody? Perhaps he has forgotten a very basic Christian teaching: “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” Because of Mr. Falwell and others like him, people perceive all of Christianity as being nothing but judgmental and condemning of others, which is not what the historic Jesus and early Christianity was about. It is understandable why so many people have negative feelings about religion today, because of all the judgment, condemnation, hatred and sometimes outright hypocrisy or violence that some demonstrate while at the same time professing love, tolerance, kindness and compassion. Again, that is a topic for another discussion altogether.

Pioneered in a major way by the Metropolitan Community Churches, several mainstream Christian churches and even other theologies have welcomed members of the GLBT community back into their congregations. Oh yes, there are “discussions” going on about the verity of their individual policies, but for the most part, many Christians now realize the all-inclusive lessons of their theological teacher, the historic Jesus. MCC founder Troy Perry once stated at the beginning of his ministry that the Metropolitan Community Churches will be needed only until such time as the mainstream churches accept the gay community back into their congregations. Personally, I feel that there will always be a need for the Metropolitan Community Churches as long as there is bigotry, hatred and prejudice in the world.

And of course, because a fundamentalist faction exists within the Republican Party, it is generally assumed that all Republicans are like them… a false assumption to say the least. Yes, extreme “right wing” people are in the Republican Party, just as “extreme left-wing people are in the Democratic Party. But what most people seem to forget is that both parties… yes, both parties… comprise a goodly percentage of those who do not subscribe to the judgments and dictates of the extreme “right” or the extreme “left,” and who would prefer to treat others with respect and dignity. Negative attributes such as bigotry, hatred, and prejudice only earns the same in return. If we sincerely want those negative attributes to cease being practiced in the world, and if we want to be treated with more respect, we must all learn to cease practicing those negative attributes against each other and within our own communities. If we are to truly embrace diversity, then we must realize the existence of differences that can work together for the good of all.

Some may feel that now I am not talking like a Republican, but I am a Republican, a Log Cabin Republican and I am very happy to be so. In the relatively short time of my membership, I have found that members of Log Cabin Republicans are fine, compassionate human beings with rational and logical intellects who don’t fly off the handle at the drop of a hat; and who genuinely recognize and respect the diversity of our community. And like my fellow Log Cabin Republicans, I respect individual rights and recognize the need for individual and collective responsibility in order to perpetuate the freedoms that are inherent in our Constitution for all to enjoy.

In closing this opus, let me say one more thing to all of my fellow Log Cabin Republicans, and to members of the gay, straight or any community who may find themselves a victim of bigotry and hatred; either verbal or otherwise. Consider the following, if you will: in all of my eclectic theological studies, I have found that the Buddhists practice the most profound ways of kindness and compassion. One of their lessons is apropos to everything I have talked about and it goes like this: “Always remember that when you point your finger at someone else, there are three fingers that are pointing right back at you.” It generally means that people are often prone to accusing others of actions which they, themselves commit. So when others are pointing a finger at you with bigoted and prejudicial accusations, then just visualize three fingers on your accusers’ hands that are pointing right back at them… fingers that could easily be called “Bigotry,” “Prejudice,” and “Oxymoron.” I love the Buddhists! They make things so easy to understand. Why can’t we all realize how easy and simple it is to understand ourselves and others?

-Mark

Here’s an article from the November issue of “Gay and Lesbian Times,” which offers some pertinent observations in regard to this subject. (copy and paste the following into your search engine): http://www.gaylesbiantimes.com/?id=6206&terms=Oxymoron